Silence takes over my body.
No words comes out.
No noise is heard.
A smile forms on my lips.
Not because of happiness,
Not because of contentment
Because of the state I’m in.
Depressed.
I sit here all alone.
Knowing…
Knowing I should be happy
Why, you ask
Everything’s in my favor
I have what I want.
I have everything.
But, no.
I sit here all alone.
No smile on my face.
Still sad.
Still waiting.
Like an empty shell.
I wrote this at the point of my life when I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I had everything that should make me happy, that should make me feel content. I had my friends around me. I had my family finally supporting and being happy for me. I made a new bestfriend. I met someone special. But I couldn’t feel the emotion that I should be feeling.
I wrote this at the time when my friend suspected that I had depression. I never went to a doctor to check. I’m scared of finding out if I do have it. I wouldn’t know what to do.
I wrote this when I was all alone in my flat, when my roommate was out, with tears streaming down my face as I felt like nothing could make me feel better. I had my laptop in front of me with the Word open. I typed this poem down before I could even think about it.
It was last year. And until now, I still feel this way.
